Hi Dad i cant believe its 20 weeks today and it still aint getting any easier i think about you every day, im dreading christmas it will never be the same it will be my first one in 48 years not being able to send you a card or even phone you to say alright Dad merry christmas. i know you would say come on dont cry dont be silly but Dad i am so not coping without you and i dont think anybody but you understands what im going threw i just so wish the pain would go away people do say i have all those lovely memmories of you but i dont want them i want you here back in my life Dad i dont know what i believe anymore but if you are watching over me please help the way im feeling go away.i know i always say this but i love and miss you more than you could ever imagine,forever in my heart Tracy.xxx